He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
