You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
