are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
