you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
