I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
