And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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