if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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