p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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