You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize