Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
