I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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