It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize