I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
