So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
NoShamevember. You game?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
