jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
