Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
