My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize