i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
