I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
