dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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