ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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