i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize