Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
