She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
