her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
