I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
