This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize