i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
