just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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