Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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