oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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