I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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