so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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