is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize