Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
