I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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