that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
