for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
