Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think my vagina is haunted
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize