well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
