A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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