You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize