Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
