this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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