Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize