I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
