Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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