Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
