I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
