Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
