Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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