im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize