I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
