if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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