I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
