so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
