Please, let me fuck your mom
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize