Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
