Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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