Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
