lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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