Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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