You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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