dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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