Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
