sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
