just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
