butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
