I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
