Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
