there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
