I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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