So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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