she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
