Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Randomize
