Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
