She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
