that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
